Memories
by Livvyladybug
Summary: In a world where everything is dark, Remus takes a few moments to remember the light. Oneshot


I saw him

His eyes

His smile, as it had been in life etched onto his face as he fell, almost gracefully.

My last love, the love that only I knew.

The love that had saved me from myself.

* * *

He sobbed into my old faded t-shirt as I stroked his long dark hair, shedding tears of my own.

"Remus. They were so young-and Harry… it was my fault, my fucking fault"

"sh. No, baby, it wasn't your fault, it could never be your fault, it was Peter, you know that. You did nothing wrong…"

He still cried, terrible, heartwrenching sobs, and I thought about Lily and James, his relentless persual of her, and their happiness, their now orphaned child who was being sent to Lily's sister…

It made me think about myself and Sirius, and how we got here, how we got to be this way, the singular thought cutting its way through the darkness and grief and pain.

* * *

"Think about it, Remy! This place is all ours!"

Sirius spread out his arms, a silly grin on his gorgeous face

"all ours" he repeated, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me in close for a kiss.

"Padfoot-how did you get the money for this place?"

"an uncle of mine snuffed it, and he left me all his gold. Bet Mum burned him off the tapestry for that!"

He grinned again, light filling his gorgeous face.

"Sirius, honestly it's amazing"

"Just wait! There's more!"

he grabbed my hand, Quidditch calluses brushing against pen-stained skin, and dragged me to a flight of stairs that went up and up and up, and when it seemed they could go up no more, there was a door.

Sirius flung the door open

"Look Remy-a King bed! We're gonna have fun tonight!"

I felt my face redden even though we were alone.

"Do I detect a blush, monsieur Remu-"

"Never EVER quote a muggle movie again…"

"you know you think it's sexy"

He hopped onto the bed, posing seductively and patting the empty space next to him for me to sit down.

"C'mon, Remy" he grinned

I grudgingly got on the bed next to him, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"feels like back at school, huh?" he laughed his barklike laugh

"bigger bed, though"

* * *

"god, Remus. You're so beautiful"

he ran his hands over my bare chest, over the scars there that only he knew, that only he touched. The scars that I hated.

"Don't lie, Padfoot. It's unbecoming"

"I'm not lying."

We were laying in his bed, lounging as we always did when James was at Quidditch practice and Peter was off doing whatever Peter does on the weekends.

"When d'you reckon Jamie'll be back?" Sirius asked

"no idea. He did say something about asking Lily to Hogsmeade, though.'

"poor bastard. He'll never get there, you know"

"you'd be surprised. Look at how it worked out for us."

He grinned, his dark hair falling with ease into his eyes.

"nope, I said, and I swear on the Black Family Line that this is true, the first time I saw you I thought _'wow, that is the sexiest werewolf I've ever seen. I'm going to get him in bed with me'"_

"good to know I was the object of your unlimited sexual desire even then"

"always will be, Moony. Always will be."

* * *

"Sirius, this is so wrong."

He ignored me, placing kisses down my neck, unbuttoning my shirt and kissing the newly exposed skin. Coming back up to meet my lips once again. I had seen Sirius's mouth a hundred times, eating, drinking, sucking on the end of a quill. But now they were biting and pressing in a way I never thought those lips could.

"Siriush….we're drunk…" I mumbled against his mouth

he raised himself from his position straddling me and looked into my eyes.

"Moony-are you saying you want me to stop snogging your extremely snoggable lips?"

I sighed, and let him continue.

* * *

_Finally. Quiet._

I had found an empty compartment, and had taken out my book, meaning to attempt to read a little before we had to change into robes, when the door burst open, bringing three new faces and loud voices

The one in the front, (_Hot-_I thought) with dark hair and smouldering eyes said

"I'm Sirius- and this is James and Peter"  
James, the one with messy black hair and gorgeous hazel eyes, asked

"can we sit here?'

"sure," I replied

"you don't talk much" Sirius observed

"no, but what I say is important"

"I'm sure it is" he said, winking roguishly at me, and I felt my heart flutter.

* * *

I was still crying, tears dripping from my face through my hands, each drop a painful memory of love lost.

I saw his eyes, his reckless smile

All ruined by his only hate.

The world was Black once more.


End file.
